Beginning Steps in Planning Your Wedding

You just got engaged and your wedding planning excitement is in full swing.  Your head is filled with colors, flowers, dresses, etc. You are trying to get a theme and color scheme in mind.  But that is not where you should begin your planning.  You don’t need a theme or color scheme.  As you plan your wedding, your colors and style will emerge naturally. 

First Step – Guest List:

After you have set your wedding budget, your first decision needs to be your guest list and the number of people you plan to invite.  You would hate to book a venue that is not large enough for the number of guests you are expecting.  So many of your decisions and costs are going depend on the number of guests you are going to invite.  Your guest list will consist of the collection of smaller lists; family members, relatives, friends, colleagues, attendants. The bride and groom list should be close in number. Each set of parents add who they wish to add to the list. 

Second Step – The Venue: 

          

Once you have finalized the guest list, you are ready to start your search for a venue.  There are two main ways to narrow your search; location and type. Save some time and do some research before you go to visit the venue.  Find out specifically what is included in the price; tables, linens, set up, take down, caterer on site or not, venue coordinator, etc.  It is not necessary for you to be totally in love with your venue.  You are not going to be living there…just getting married there.  If you can see yourself saying “I do” but the chairs or tiles in the bathroom are not exactly your style, it shouldn’t be a deal breaker.

Now the rest…

Now that you have your guest list and your venue booked, you can start thinking about colors, flowers, music, menu and all the other decisions.  But don’t let those decisions stress you out.  Keep it simple.  You do need to have some color at your wedding. It can be colors that you like or colors that would look good on your bridesmaids.  If you are not sure what kind of flowers you want, talk with a florist, look at flower galleries, read real wedding blogs to find something that you like.  If the flowers in the pictures are out of your price range, let the florist know that is the color and look you like and have them suggest flowers that are more in line with your budget.  

You have a dress you love, a centerpiece idea,  foods that you definitely want…then build your wedding out from there.  

Happy Planning!!

Happy Bridesmaids...Happy Bride!

Historically, bridesmaids wore dresses similar to the bride's wedding gown and groomsmen dressed similarly to the groom. This custom began for the couple's protection against evil and not for uniformity. The belief was that if evil spirits attempted to harm the couple, they would be confused as to who was the bride and groom.



Today, rather than warding off evil spirits, bridesmaids have other important obligations. You chose your bridesmaids because they are your nearest and dearest friends, and will be there to offer emotional support on probably one of the biggest days of your life. Other duties they may fulfill include helping you choose your bridal gown and accessories, hosting a bridal shower or a bachelorette party, putting together your favors and standing beside you at the altar when you say "I do".

Feeling Beautiful and Confident!
When your bridesmaids are all wearing the same style of dress, they are probably not all feeling beautiful and confident. Remember these young ladies are there to support and love you on your wedding day and not there to stand beside you to be your own personal Barbie dolls!  Your bridesmaids are more than likely different shapes, sizes and heights, so it is not necessary to have them all wear the same style of dress. If you want to stick to one color of dress, consider allowing each girl to wear the style of dress that best fits their body type and size.  Be assured...if your bridesmaids feel beautiful and confident in what they are wearing, they will look great standing beside you and in your wedding pictures.

Keep Costs Reasonable
Since these girls are your closest and dearest friends, be understanding about how much they are spending to help you celebrate the happiest day of your life.  I know it is easy for you to get wrapped up in how much you are spending that it is easy not to realize the amount of money everyone else is spending. So try hard to keep costs reasonable. The money that bridesmaids spend doesn't stop after they purchase their dress. Remember there are alterations, shoes, accessories, bridal shower, bachelorette party, travel, lodging and the wedding gift.  All of this can easily add up to hundreds of dollars per person.  Think twice before you ask them to get spray tans, professional hair and makeup, manicures, pedicures that adds even more money they will have to shell out. Allow them to feel comfortable enough to say no to all the extras.  If you decide you want the girls to have their hair and makeup done professionally, then it will be your responsibility to pay for it. Another option is for the girls to be responsible for their own hair and makeup.  And, if your friend prefers to do their own makeup and hair, that doesn't make her a lousy person who doesn't deserve to be a bridesmaid. Remember the real reason you chose them to be a bridesmaid in the first place and be an understanding bride.

Be a Friend
Even though you are busy planning for your big day, continue to be a good friend. Make a conscious effort to ask your girls about what's going in their lives.  Don't make it all wedding talk.  Don't just call, text, email when you need something or to remind them of a deadline. Remember they have important things going in their lives that they would like to share with you. Your bridemaids are putting time, effort and money into your wedding so be sure to make them feel special too. List them on your wedding website with photos and a little bit about each. Also, be sure to include them in your program at the ceremony. They are your closet friends so be sure to treat them that way.  They will notice!

Say Thank You!
Above all else, be sure to thank them for all their love and support. Give them a gift that is meaningful and include a personal note.  Put some thought into what you think each girl would like. If you decide to give them jewelry to wear in the wedding, consider getting them each a different piece that suits their personality.  Something that is special just for them.  Remember all the time, money and support they have given to you, so be sure to spend a little extra in the gift that you get each of them.


In the end, when all is said and done, remember the real reason you chose these particular girls to stand beside you.  You want them to still be glad that they said yes!

Advice Tips for Wedding Invitations

One definition of etiquette is the customary code of polite behavior in society or among members of a particular profession or group. At it's most elemental form, etiquette is providing us a guideline to be courteous to each other.  Being raised in the south by a mother who was a true southerner belle, etiquette was just a part of life. The awareness of the basics is an important factor in wedding invitation etiquette. There are a lot of emotions while planning a wedding so the more you can use basic emotionless guidelines the better.

Addressing Invitations

Outer Envelopes:

1. Outer envelopes should be addressed conventionally using titles and full names (first, middle and last).
2. Middle initials aren't used, so either write out middle names (if known), or omit them.
3. All other words should be written out (Street, Avenue, Post Office Box, North, Apartment, etc.)
4. Proper etiquette indicates to write out the state name; however, the two-letter postal code abbreviation is also acceptable when dealing with limited space.

Inner Envelopes:

1. Inner envelopes bear the title and last names of specific people invited.  It is acceptable to write familiar names for family and close friends. Examples: Mr. and Mrs. Jones, Aunt Mary and Uncle Phil, Tom and Susan
2. The names of children who are 18 years old and younger should be written on separate lines below their parents' names. 
3. The names of children who are 19 years old or older who still live at home with their parents should receive their own invitation.
4. If inner envelopes are not being used, the children's names are written on the outer envelope below the names of their parents.

Invitation Wording

1. The first line of the invitation is the name of who is hosting the wedding...whether the bride's parents (traditional), bride and groom's parents, or the wedding couple. The hosts' names should be written out and include middle names and titles. (With the exception of Mr. and Mrs., all titles should be written out, unless the name is too long to fit on one line. Examples:  Doctor and Mrs. Albert James Ness; Sergeant and Mrs. James Lee Ford.)
2. The invitation line is where you directly invite your guests. When the wedding is being held in a place of worship, "the honour of your presence" phrase is used. When held at other locations, "the pleasure of your company" is traditionally used.
3. The next lines list the names. Traditionally the bride's name is listed first. If the bride's last name is the same as her parents, only her first and middle name are included  The groom's name should be written out and preceded by his appropriate title. Examples:  Mr. Steven David Smith; Doctor Grant William Hall.
4. The action line gives the information of the reason for the invitation.  If the hosts are the bride's parents some examples of wording may be "At the celebration of their marriage" or "At the marriage of our daughter".  You may have another phrase that you would prefer.
5. The information line includes the time, date and location. Write out the date and year.  It is not necessary to use "and" in the year line. Example: two thousand seventeen. Capitalize the day of the week and the month, but not the year. The phrase "half after" should be used when indicating time, rather than "half past" or "-thirty". It is not necessary to use the phrases "in the afternoon" and "in the evening". The city and state should be written out. If all guests are local, the state may be omitted.
6. Last line is to give the information on what is to follow the ceremony...such as "Reception Admittedly Following" or you can include a Reception Card. 
7. You don’t want to mention anything about gifts on the wedding invitation...so no information on your wedding registry.

Additional Tips

•      Use the names of all guests whenever possible. Using "and guest" just isn't warm and friendly.
•      Get names, titles and addresses correct when addressing. It's impressive and flattering! When in doubt, ask.
•      Invitation envelopes should always be handwritten. Printed labels are not acceptable. Consider hiring a calligrapher or enlisting the help of others if you feel overwhelmed.
•      Before sealing the outer envelope, make absolutely sure that the names on the inner and outer envelopes match.
•      Take an assembled invitation to the post office and have it weighed to ensure proper postage. If invitations vary (e.g., one for local guests, another for out-of-town guests) have each variation weighed.
•      Mail all invitations at the same time.  Don't wait to see how many will be attending from the first mailing before sending another. Simply estimate that 10 to 20 percent of invited guests will send regrets; doing this is so much better than using a standby guest list.